You said you’d always make me happy

… But how could I believe such beautiful lies ?


t0tally-pers0nal:

Let’s “cuddle” and when I say cuddle I mean aggressively makeout and grab me everywhere

(via orgasmictipsforgirls)


orgasmictipsforgirls:

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

the sassy nineties
  • Uterus: I'm going to hurt really badly now.
  • Uterus: And then I'm going to make you want to fuck EVERYTHING.


During my periods...
  • Me: SHIT
  • Me: SHIT SHIT
  • Me: Stop the Niagara Falls god.
  • Me: CRAMPS CRAMPS CRAMPS AAAAGGGHHH.
  • Me: THIS IS WORSE THAN CHILD BIRTH.
  • Me: Wait I've never given birth.
  • Me: WAIT, I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX EITHER.
  • Me: I WANNA FUCK. NOW.
  • Me: I AM SO HORNY.
  • Me: Holy shit, i need to change.
  • Me: BLOOD. KILL ME NOW.
  • Me: Can I sell my uterus on Amazon?
  • Me: FOOOOOOOD.
  • Me: Look at all the food. Let me eat like a pregnant whale now.
  • Me: NOBODY LOVES ME. I WANNA GO DIE. I HATE YOU, YOU AND YOU TOO.
  • Me: Leave me alone mom.
  • Me: NO DAD, DON'T HUG ME.
  • Me: Kill me already.
  • Me: HORNY
  • ME: EWE...SEX...EWE EWE EWE.
  • Me: Excessive Tumblr usage.


How the Female Body Works
  • Days you can have sex: rarely horny
  • Days you have your period: horny 24/7


Well that explains why I’m hungry, horny, and hurting all at once.

-Proverb of a girl finding blood in her pants when going to the bathroom first thing in the morning. (via mienbonnie)

that moment when you’re on your period

unic0rrn-sluts:

and one second your mood is

then it’s

then it’s

and you have really bad cramps so you’re holding your stomach like

than you see an extremely hot guy and you’re like

and you go up to your room after school and you’re all like

then you have a craving for chocolate and you’re yelling at your mom all like

then you go back to bed and die

(Source: unic0rrn-sluts)


girls on their periods

bring-jess-the-horizon:

- I’m so fucking horny get me some sex
- oh you touched me I think I’m gonna orgasm
- don’t fucking touch me or I will bite your hand off
- *sobbing* I hate my life why does everyone hate me
- I want to kill everyone
- I can’t bear the pain I think I’m gonna kill myself
- why am I not a boy?
- ooh boys…penis
- I fucking hate boys they’re so mean
- omg I love him why doesn’t he love me
- pull yourself together you stupid piece of shit


Every girl knows the phases.

kristatedua:

Well that’s mildly uncomfortable.

Okay why am I so horny.

I want chocolate and fast food.

FUCK THAT HURTS!

DONT fuCKinG TOUCh mE WHAT tHE FUcK!

No wait come cuddle:(

UGHHHHHH *curls into a ball*


dibujochiches:

y así.
My period happens in stages:

beautyisnthowyoulook:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5


me on my period
  • me: i hate everyone
  • me: don't touch me
  • me: wow what a lovely day..
  • me: I'm horny
  • me: is that a cookie
  • me: takes 5 hour nap
  • me: everyone fuck off
  • me: there's world war 2 going on in my uterus
  • me: i wanna make love right now now now
  • me: what a beautiful day
  • me: *eats everything in the kitchen*
  • me: i hate everyone